Jungle Tigers

I have to say something about this because it's been eating away at me for quite some time. You may be as surprised to hear this as I have witnessed it for the whole of the time I've been in indonesia... Remember this though when you read a post like this one from me- the last thing I want to be is a preacher- I loathe them on most occasions because I believe that we should be smart enough to try to figure out the best path to our own identity and subsequent goodness. What I would like to be is an observer of life that can share it with friends from my perspective. Sometimes I'm ignorant, sometimes completely naive, sometimes I'm even offensive. But, Hopefully I can keep a measure of humility, a strong adventurous and optimistic spirit and an eagerness to learn about and share the beauty of human life that surrounds us even if I cannot help but to share our struggles, challenges and defects- It's is my solid belief that we learn the most from those.

So, here's what I have to say.

Seriously, it's not so uncommon to see beautiful young south east asian women under the arms of fat old white men far from their prime. The sight is usually disturbing to me. Many men come here to find a wife to live with, love and cherish for the rest of their life, have children with and adore. On the flip side, and the reason that I'm often disturbed by their presence is the fact that sexual tourism thrives in south east asia. The women here are so eager to find a loving western partner that the end up with so many men who essentially treat them as prostitutes. See, marraige here isn't always initially about love. Arrainged marraiges are common and primarily, a marraige is an aggreement between two people to take care of eachothers needs and to be good parents to their children..Men are providers and the women are the regulators. Love, hopefully comes in the package. Indonesia is a different than much of the rest of the surrounding areas. Outside of the Jakarta and Bali, Women are etremly oldfashined and shy. The interest in western men is certainly strong but they are reserved, proper and dignified. Not to say that every available girl doesn't let you know that she's interested, she just wont give her heart or body away so easily or wrecklessly- Her family, friends and Village are all watching. In Toba, I did meet a girl that I was very attracted to. She was beautiful, charming and sweet. She showed me around the town, introduced me to all her friends and taught me about her culture. We had drinks together and danced the night away. For a moment there, I dreamed of taking her away with me and giving her the life of a princess, she was so sweet (regardless of the fact that her ancestors ate humans) I didn't though, and the extent of our physical relationship never even succeeded a goodbye kiss that I will remember forever. It would be so easy to be the kind of guy who indulges in the ease of the moment with these willing, beautiful, younger girls.. but, I know from unfortunate experience that when you break a womans heart because you're a traveller and simply have to listen to the call of the road and can't take her with you that it stays with you and you're an asshole if if you can feel good about yourself and live with it. So for me, atleast, my rule is fun.

After that preface, Here's what might shock you.
TOURIST WOMEN HERE ARE THE BIGGEST SEXUAL TOURISTS I"VE MET! The indonesian girls are reserved and usually keep to themselfes (remember like I said..outside of the big cities) But anything goes for the guys! Keep in mind ladies that the men here also have feelings, they also dream of making a new life somewhere new and exciting and hope to live in relative riches and enjoy the western world. The closer I got to the jungle or even off the beaten path, the more women I saw with indonesian boyfriends, the more stories I heard from the locals about how western girls are crazy with jungle fever. It seemed that every local guy had atleast one tale of the girl who was here for a week, fucked his brains out and left him for dead, a shell of a man.

My last night in Toba, I danced with all my new friends. We celebrated, laughed and drank Arak, vodkas and beer. Beneath our laughter a growing sadness loomed and grew inside of me. It wouldn't be long and I would leave he girl that I had become so fond of without even kissing. (Sucker alert, I know) At one point in the night, as the party was dying down, I found myself alone with my thoughts. A young Indonesian Butok man walked by me and said casually "You look lonely brother, I'm lonely too!" and walked by. After I said my goodnights and goodbyes I walked down the road towards the Reggae hotel where I was staying and the same man ran from the bar saying "Brother, I'll give you a ride on my motorbike, Wait. I have to get out of here too" I aggreed, Bottle of Vodka in one hand, Bottle of water in the other. A beautiful Finnish girl chased him out of the bar. He didn't have to tell me what he was feeling. I'd seen them around town and all that night playing like young lovers. It was also her last night in his town and he knew as well that their relation ship was over. Infront of me stood a broken hearted man in too much pain to even be with the girl that he'd fell in love with because she would leave him and probably never see him again. A tear welled in his eye as he looked at the dusty street in his little town far from the places where movies are made, far from places where families don't share houses, far from places where there's reliable clean water, flushing toilets and efficient sewage systems. She laughingly begged him not to leave because she needed one more night with him. I handed him the bottle of vodka, patted him on the shoulder and walked home. So, is it better to have loved and lost rather than never to have loved at all? I'll say for me atleast that it depends on your intentions.